iPhone, now in available in stupid

    The new iPhone 5 was truly a remarkable phone- in fact, it might just be the best phone ever.  With it's A6 chip, siri, and 8 mp camera, it is ABSOLUTE CRAP IT NEVER EXISTED BURN DEATH.  (As the REAL website for Apple, we deny all allegations of ever producing this phone.  As a result, all "iPhone 5" owners will be until forced upgrade.  Not that we would need to force them.)  The iPhone 5c is truly a remarkable phone- in fact, it might just be the best phone ever.  With it's [overclocked A6] A7 chip, Siri, and 9 mp camera it is truly a great achievement and stuff so you might as well buy it because we already bricked your old phone.

Thanks, Obama