A comprehensive list of reasons as to why you should not sue me the maker of this site
1. You're just jealous that you can't handle my swag.
2. I have no money
3. I'll counter sue you for emotional damages and win because that's how our screwed up world works.
4. One of my cats is really mean.
5. I am not willing to recite prose in Steve Job's memory before coming to Apple court.
6. It is against my religion to be sued.
7. If you question that previous argument, I will sue you for emotional damages.
8. I'm pretty sure death by iGun is illegal.
9. You don't know where I live.
10. I know where you live.
11. Your face is ugly.
12. My Nokia phone doubles as a weapon.
13. I once poked a kid in Elementary School and made him cry.
14. I'll release information saying that all Apple products are being tracked by North Korea, which is probably true anyway.
15. I'll write a simple virus that will stream bad 90s movies to all macs and it will take Apple 3 months to notice and try to fix it.
16. If you heat up a mac pro with a blowtorch, it will actually blow up. I have scientific experience.
17. I'll prolong the case as long as possible and wait for Apple to declare bankruptcy.
18. I can use an AI with the voice of Microsoft Sam to create a more convincing argument than you.
19. You can't actually sue me because I'm not a person.
20. I'll hack the next iOS update and replace it with the most bare-bones puppy Linux you can imagine.
21. I will let you take legal action only if you fight me- on super smash brothers.
22. I took karate with a friend once in the sixth grade- for a few days, I had to stop because my grandpa started raging about them commies, but if I stayed long enough to get my yellow belt, we wouldn't be having this argument anymore.
23. and now a message from the Good Captain's Fish: "Remember kids, eat your fish. The fish is good for you children. Eat your fish. Bleughghgg."
24. I will get the Doctor to come with his Tardis and take you to the near future when Microsoft took over the U.S. government and all families are required by law to have an Xbox One system in their house. The Kinect sensor will sense that your heart is still beating, and will take care of that.
25. Wow, none of these make any sense anymore. I should stop drinking battery acid.
26. What am I talking about. Battery acid is the best!
27. I havengveklvfnfnklfh khlhjagshfjllk agHGDHE IDSS THE REASNOBNSFBSB B677?>>SG
28. Don't drink battery acid.
29. My Dad works for Mac he'll totally sue u com at me what u mean.
30. I'll bring a Zune to the courtroom. *gasp*
2. I have no money
3. I'll counter sue you for emotional damages and win because that's how our screwed up world works.
4. One of my cats is really mean.
5. I am not willing to recite prose in Steve Job's memory before coming to Apple court.
6. It is against my religion to be sued.
7. If you question that previous argument, I will sue you for emotional damages.
8. I'm pretty sure death by iGun is illegal.
9. You don't know where I live.
10. I know where you live.
11. Your face is ugly.
12. My Nokia phone doubles as a weapon.
13. I once poked a kid in Elementary School and made him cry.
14. I'll release information saying that all Apple products are being tracked by North Korea, which is probably true anyway.
15. I'll write a simple virus that will stream bad 90s movies to all macs and it will take Apple 3 months to notice and try to fix it.
16. If you heat up a mac pro with a blowtorch, it will actually blow up. I have scientific experience.
17. I'll prolong the case as long as possible and wait for Apple to declare bankruptcy.
18. I can use an AI with the voice of Microsoft Sam to create a more convincing argument than you.
19. You can't actually sue me because I'm not a person.
20. I'll hack the next iOS update and replace it with the most bare-bones puppy Linux you can imagine.
21. I will let you take legal action only if you fight me- on super smash brothers.
22. I took karate with a friend once in the sixth grade- for a few days, I had to stop because my grandpa started raging about them commies, but if I stayed long enough to get my yellow belt, we wouldn't be having this argument anymore.
23. and now a message from the Good Captain's Fish: "Remember kids, eat your fish. The fish is good for you children. Eat your fish. Bleughghgg."
24. I will get the Doctor to come with his Tardis and take you to the near future when Microsoft took over the U.S. government and all families are required by law to have an Xbox One system in their house. The Kinect sensor will sense that your heart is still beating, and will take care of that.
25. Wow, none of these make any sense anymore. I should stop drinking battery acid.
26. What am I talking about. Battery acid is the best!
27. I havengveklvfnfnklfh khlhjagshfjllk agHGDHE IDSS THE REASNOBNSFBSB B677?>>SG
28. Don't drink battery acid.
29. My Dad works for Mac he'll totally sue u com at me what u mean.
30. I'll bring a Zune to the courtroom. *gasp*
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